Jets' weakness unveiled as lack of champion soundtrack material

Overall 1-2

Week 3

The third installment of the second greatest American pastime was met with dismal weather and a surprising lack of competition. We were pleasantly greeted with the fact that our team had a by for the week, thus granting us our first mark in the "W" column. (It's dirty, but I'll take it.) 

But with a little help from our brand new pretty-damn-rad t-shirts, the team pulled out a great practice. Another addition is mascot Flat Stanley -- straight from an elementary in Wisconsin. (I don't trust him for a second. He wants my MVP title.) 

The playoff season kicks off Sunday. As I prep for victory, which, of course, has nothing to do with physical activity, I notice my severe lack of musical material to push us to a win. Crucial songs I do not own: Eye of the Tiger, We are the Champions, Too Much Booty in da Pants. With this discovery comes the root of our problem. 

Championship, here we come.