Gchat excerpt

Me: I get chased in manhattan. I get chased in bed stuy. not sure which one scared me more.

K: what?

omg

where in manhattan?

Me: in front of the damn mall

I mean, can’t you send out some message to all of the crazy religious folks and tell them that I’m a lost cause and if anyone is going to save me it’s going to be you, SO BACK THE HELL OFF

please?

K: mall?

where do we have a mall?

Me: Columbus circle

K: those people are not my preferred method of reaching people

ugh

Me: dear god, please stop me from being chased. thanks, allie.

(will you give him the message?)

oh, and I’d like a job.

and a pony.