Yes, So On & So on

Blogspot, it's not you, it's me.

2010-03-27T21:11:00.004-04:00

I moved: http://allietownsend.tumblr.com

See you there.

For Speilberg

2010-03-26T18:04:00.004-04:00

"Head On" - Spielberg Commissioned Special Project from Michael Koerbel on Vimeo.

The Cults

2010-03-23T11:44:00.002-04:00

Download the EP 7" on the band's Web site for free. Do it, do it.

Twenty-three floors worth

2010-03-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

Please, do not small talk with me about the weather. Your obvious statements about the rain do not make my elevator ride any more comfortable as my shoes slosh under me.

Monday, a list

2010-03-22T23:43:00.011-04:00

1. Dear Sir, I'm worried your bedazzled "Thug 4 Life" shirt is harming your street cred.

2. This is a sideways rain.

3. The 10-foot sub delivered to the office is impressive and intimidating. I feel like a cat who has cornered a gigantic mouse. You want to eat it, but you're slightly terrified of what it might do if you try.

4. Pez-o-saurus

certainly a highlight

Excerpt

2010-03-20T23:43:00.003-04:00

"The capacity to make dubious gifts is a mysterious quality of New York. It can destroy an individual, or it can fulfill him, depending a good deal on luck. No one should come to New York to live unless he is willing to be lucky."

-E.B. White's Here is New York

Me, sketched

2010-03-18T19:15:00.004-04:00

web site avatar, phase one
(those cheeks are out of control)

update: phase two, complete!

Gchat: A Context-Free Highlight

2010-03-18T19:05:00.001-04:00

B: It's like Lucy Van Pelt meets Garfield meets Spy vs. Spy

Me: meets Tom and Jerry

B: meets Itchy and Scratchy

Me: exactly

Hey There Little Red Riding Hood

2010-03-16T00:59:00.003-04:00

Tucked away somewhere in my suppressed conscious are the details of my acting debut.

In kindergarten, our class was due to give a "play" for parent's night, and despite what I'm sure was an excellent attempt at snagging that scarlet cloak, I lost it to the girl who actually owned one. (The budget was tight and my past Halloween picks didn't serve me well here.) Still, my acting merits won me a role in the 20-minute kiddie indie.

It wasn't the fact that I was playing a bed-ridden, infirm old woman who is eaten by a wolf that bothered me. No. It was the fact that I had to wear my pajamas in front of the whole class that made my stomach tie up in knots. On principle, I refused to go barefoot to leave some dignity intact. I wore a full length night dress and bonnet, and much to my horror, was forced to hug the smelliest boy in the class who played the role of the woodsman due to his enormous size, I'm sure.

On life

2010-03-15T00:20:00.004-04:00

"Matilda said, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable...""

- Roald Dahl's Matilda (a forever ago favorite)

birthday cake candles & bank paper

2010-03-12T02:05:00.003-05:00

As we chatted, we began listing our favorite scents. It's funny, but if you ask someone to name their all-time favorite smells they're usually not found inside a Bath & Body or wafting from your favorite kitchen. They're subtle yet familiar, and somehow have the power to take your thoughts from chaotic bustle to sleepy hamlet with just one sniff. It's what Glade will always strive for and never manage to tap.

Other favorite scents:

Freshly mowed grass
Pert Plus shampoo
His sweatshirt
Laundromat
Flour
Lake water
Baseball diamond dirt
Noxzema
The air, about two blocks downwind of the Sunbeam Bread Factory
Chlorine
Popcorn popped outdoors
Campfire

Dear Zooey

2010-03-09T18:34:00.002-05:00

you're adorable.

Dream

2010-03-08T11:23:00.001-05:00

... about virgins and vampires.

Metaphor for good and evil or my sultry taste in alliteration?

On Kristi, too

2010-03-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

"And you. You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning."

In my head...

2010-02-23T19:22:00.003-05:00

Mmmm, sweet nothins.

On phone calls to my mother

2010-02-22T22:06:00.002-05:00

"What? Oh, dancing. Like Beyonce."

The Valentine's Day Cactus

2010-02-22T00:08:00.001-05:00

I've named it Cupid.

William, It Was Really Nothing

2010-02-21T00:00:00.000-05:00

I celebrated Valentine's Day the way I have for the past four years: with my closest friend, doing things much too frilly for an average weekend. Our girlish pursuits center around sweets and love stories, the sillier the better.

This year's Valentine's Day entertainment was the film of the same name. It had some nice moments, but I have a problem with love being about large gestures or I-had-no-idea-I-was-actually-in-love-with-my-best-friend revelations. The six degrees of separation plot line seemed in place just to allow certain celebrities more screen time, and half of them cheaply referenced their real-life fame. The story never flowed and seemed to be made of chunks of thrown out screen plays threaded together in an attempt to one-up Love Actually. (It didn't.) Still, Jennifer Garner was cute, and Julia Roberts can always save a film otherwise in distress.

And just as Jessica Biel went into yet another misanthropic melt down about being perfectly beautiful and perfectly unlucky in love, a ripe burning smell followed by blasting fire alarms rushed us out of our seats.

The childish fear of being trapped in a burning building swooped in for a few seconds of premature group panic, until the usher stopped the group at the door.

"We're really sorry for the inconvenience, but there's no fire."

One man addresses the obvious. "Then what's with the smoke?"

"Well, there was a little fire."

We ended up missing about 10 minutes of a movie that really never had a plot in the first place, so catching up was never an issue. In the end, two best friends fall in love and those who opted to be alone were marked as villains. I kept wondering if Hallmark put them up to this? I never saw Valentine's Day as romantic. I'd rather spend it carelessly smirking at a version of love that doesn't exist, no roses required.

After a night that almost went up in flames, I needed something less polished to fill my head, and The Smiths happily carried me home.

On books

2010-02-17T12:14:00.001-05:00

"No more talk about the death of the novel; the novel will be at your funeral."

-Richard Price

On allergies

2010-02-16T13:13:00.000-05:00

"I didn't realize there was so much cocaine in Claritin."

Snow days

2010-02-10T13:29:00.004-05:00

... make me miss my brother.

Our brother/sister snow team was epic. We built snow forts out of recycling bins, topped our snowmen with hard hats, and ate only the white stuff before mom pulled us in for hot chocolate and cookies.

Stella's Day

2010-02-09T16:28:00.001-05:00

Stella's Day from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Rock on, Gold Dust Woman

2010-02-09T12:03:00.001-05:00

In my house Fleetwood Mac was the sound of the ladies with the place to themselves. Chores were done in rhythm. The volume was all the way up.

For as long as I can remember, her favorite song was my favorite song.

My choice Fleetwood:

1. Landslide
2. Crystal
3. Monday Morning
4. Gold Dust Woman
5. I Believe My Time Ain't Long
6. Rhiannon
7. The Chain
8. Second Hand News
9. Oh Well, Part l
10. Say You Love Me
11. What Makes You Think You're The One
12. Black Magic Woman
13. Never Going Back Again
14. Songbird
15. Dreams
16. I'm So Afraid
17. Rattlesnake Shake
18. Tusk
19. You Make Loving Fun
20. Go Your Own Way

Skating in the Park With Wolves

2010-02-08T12:52:00.000-05:00

Friday was the annual 'Skating Under the Stars' event at Brooklyn's Prospect Park. Admission gets you free booze, snacks, (candy cigarettes!) and three hours on the ice. (I managed not to fall!)

Wolf howls were signatured by the DJ, dubbed 'DJ Moonlight' by someone in the group, and due to the presence of the pack, came other ingenious mash ups:

1. He's Just Not That Into You With Alligators
2. Saw With Cats
3. Babar With Down Syndrome

And for good measure: Razor Train, where the doors are – surprise! – razors.

...Stand clear of the closing doors please.

I'm coming around

2010-02-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

just doesn't get old.

Sunday, part ll

2010-02-07T21:57:00.003-05:00

Tonight the streets are ruled by women – there are almost no men in sight.

I'm not in front of a TV, but there is little doubt to which day of the year it is. Pizza shops are empty, but employees are frantic, "Oohs" and "Aahs" thunder out of bars and every window flickers with the light of the same channel.

5 things that happend at IKEA

2010-02-07T21:33:00.005-05:00

1. Organized chaos. Efficiency is sexy.

2. Swedish meatballs!

3. "What is this?" "I have no idea." "I want it." "Me too." "Swedish bastards."

4. Kid on the shuttle who squealed "FASTER!" at the driver with getaway zeal.

5. New friends:

organizational elephant
& financially responsible hippopotamus

Hello, Park Slope

2010-02-06T14:00:00.001-05:00

It's moving day!

RIP, McSweeney

2010-02-05T14:12:00.000-05:00

Timothy McSweeney dies at 67.

Spotted:

2010-02-05T10:00:00.001-05:00

Half of a coconut on the subway, still packaged. It slid out from it's hiding nook as we left West Fourth Street and planted itself in the middle of the car.

Staring was collective. No one said a thing.

They're remaking The Wolfman

2010-02-04T21:17:00.001-05:00

He always told us he was a werewolf.

One night he fell from a ladder on the side of our house, scrambled into the hedge and leapt up wearing the most realistic mask any seven-year-old had ever seen peeping through her pudgy fingers. The fright-tactics never stopped.

He didn't know much about love, but he knew fear, so that's what he used instead.

chaotic good

2010-02-03T17:34:00.003-05:00

Nuit Blanche from Spy Films on Vimeo.

This makes me wish that Tarentino would have directed Casablanca.

"We'll always have Paris." And abundant special effects.

Dream

2010-02-03T00:08:00.002-05:00

No other sensation than floating in cool water. It feels great, then begins to freeze until I start to burn. Awake.

I dream so frequently (byproduct of a light sleeper's attempt at rest) that I'm used to every dream ending in something terrifying. There are only a few that are nice, but usually it's in a pretty absurd way. Someday I'll recant the catalogue to a dream analyst for the bad news. Let it come later, when I've convinced myself that I've managed peace of mind.

The other night

2010-02-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

"How are you feeling?"

"Honestly, I feel like I could connect with my partner more. I'm not really feeling good about it. Some thing's off balance. I felt a heaviness all during yoga today."

In the bakery, a man sat with a woman. Over coffee and snacks, their dialogue was straight from a Woody Allen film – simply a lot of waxing on about the complexity of relationships and ethical dilemmas, all wrapped up tightly in cynicism.

The boy a few tables away broke from his frozen focus to stand and pace. He went back and forth for a while and then balked – a characature Eureka! moment. He returned to his chair, typing, then raised his left hand and waved it in the air as if he were conducting the words on the screen.

A Tiny Love Story

2010-02-02T16:19:00.001-05:00

Foolishly Seeking True Love from Jarrett Lee Conaway on Vimeo.

Excerpt

2010-01-28T22:26:00.001-05:00

"I've been writing short stories since I was fifteen. I have trouble writing simply and naturally. My mind is stocked with some black neckties, and though I'm throwing them out as fast as I find them, there will always be a few left over. I am a dash man and not a miler, and it is probable that I will never write a novel. So far the novels of this war have had too much of the strength, maturity and craftsmanship critics are looking for, and too little of the glorious imperfections which teeter and fall off the best minds. The men who have been in this war deserve some sort of trembling melody rendered without embarrassment or regret. I'll watch for that book."

- J.D. Salinger, in a letter to Esquire

Inner Conflict

2010-01-27T17:40:00.003-05:00

Too much time spent ogling the new Apple product has left me with two opposite feelings:

1. Pretty. I want one.
2. Smash the nearest computer, chuck your cell phone, run to the nearest green space with your favorite book.

A reference

2010-01-26T15:18:00.000-05:00

For the record:

meep = sad, desolate, down-trodden, scared

mow = overwhelmed, shy, curious, meek

morp = covered in green sludge

- B

Gchat, Tacos Edition

2010-01-26T14:23:00.004-05:00

B: I'm overwhelmed. I blame the tacos.

Me: What? That's ridiculous. You can't be overwhelmed by Tacos. Tacos are not whelming, they're delicious. You jerk.

B: Truer words have never been spoken. I want to seek out the most delicious tacos in NYC.

Me: Because surely with them lies the most delicious margaritas.

B: Surely

Me: The road to great tacos is paved with great margaritas.

Hey Ladies

2010-01-25T22:21:00.001-05:00

If you want to be hit on, take a stack of comics to a Brooklyn coffee shop.

Excerpt

2010-01-25T21:41:00.001-05:00

"Really? Wow. You’re a fucking idiot. I mean, even for a twelve year old, your level of emotional intelligence is frighteningly low. It’s not that I don’t care what you do, it’s that I honestly can’t give you any advice.

I suppose I could tell you to start reading existentialist philosophy in a quest for self-realization, but who are we kidding? Jersey Shore re-runs are about to start, and you want a stranger on the internet to help scold your alcoholic boyfriend who will undoubtedly find a way to knock you up before he starts serving time for felony hit and run, thus bolstering the supply of potential cast members for next season of MTV’s 16 and Pregnant.

Actually, wait. That is one thing you can do. Don’t ever go off your birth control. Seriously, people like you shouldn’t breed.

If this hurts your feelings, ask yourself why."

- Dear Coke Talk, the best advice blog in the world.

When it rains...

2010-01-25T15:16:00.002-05:00

The pinky finger I broke during a 10th-grade gym class basketball game hurts like mad.

I hate sports.

The xx

2010-01-24T13:58:00.001-05:00

On Blazing Saddles

2010-01-24T13:51:00.000-05:00

"I mean, come on, I like farts a lot more than my mom likes farts."

On NBC

2010-01-23T14:08:00.000-05:00

"All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

-Conan

Static

2010-01-23T11:51:00.001-05:00

My hair is attempting to electrocute my face. Help!

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

2010-01-22T21:53:00.005-05:00

1. Hall & Oates sings the perfect soundtrack for a sleepy afternoon. Fleetwood Mac on vinyl blasts through dinner. "Rumors" is a perfect album.

2. The cancellation of the writing workshop goes unexplained. To make my uptown jaunt seem less inconveniencing I waif my way through the magazines, trying to find one that's "me." I can't. Marie Claire is too fussy; Cosmo, too dumb; Oprah, too soccer mom. I feel at home with men's magazines. They provide the blunt delivery that real friends should and don't feature a vocabulary threaded with "BFF," "perfect" or "accessorize." I appreciate that.

3. I can't imagine a world without Frosted Flakes.

4. The large pool of vomit on the train platform is not so much disgusting as it is impressive. The physics of that barf are surely something to behold.

5. I like my city full of troubadours. I like my trains full of library-appropriate volumes. New York musicians seemed to have misplaced my memo en masse.

Central Park at Eleven

2010-01-18T18:16:00.005-05:00

It's unsettling to watch the children of New York when you finally realize that not only are they more refined, better dressed, and already wield an allowance close to my own income – but that they're more in tune and relaxed with this City than perhaps I'll ever be simply because they are home. Meanwhile my corner of New York still feels like an unfinished Play Doh creation.

I'm sculpting. I'm mashing. It's not right yet.

He says Murder, he says.

2010-01-17T18:47:00.002-05:00

likes/dislikes

2010-01-17T18:07:00.004-05:00

glamor/glitz
sunday/football
isms/scruples
colin firth/colin farrell

In the office kitchen

2010-01-15T16:24:00.001-05:00

Bag of Jim Beam sunflower seeds. Box of Jolt Energy Mints.

I pass.

Excerpt

2010-01-13T21:47:00.001-05:00

“I have no regret over calling Greenspan a political hack. Because he was. The things you heard me say about George Bush? You never heard me apologize about any of them. Because he was. What was I supposed to say? I called him a liar twice. Because he lied to me twice.”

New York Times Magazine profile of Harry Reid

It's time to take sides

2010-01-13T20:57:00.000-05:00

Leno, be damned.

LIES

2010-01-13T20:39:00.002-05:00

shakes fist.

should be words

2010-01-13T20:24:00.002-05:00

t-rexing, unresolvedly, shitacious

On flirting

2010-01-13T12:12:00.000-05:00

"How do you think I got so much tail at church camp?"

On January

2010-01-12T22:19:00.002-05:00

"There's nothing good in January. Don't even say MLK Day. I know he's a good guy, but he just doesn't give me that warm, fuzzy feeling."

In which I ate soup at my desk

2010-01-12T14:18:00.002-05:00

Fiasco! and a burnt tongue.

The next bite I trap in my spoon will sit and cool. Impatience causes me to blow, which leads to the present:

Wiping rice from my splattered screen.

Dear Humanity: Kindly explain yourself.

2010-01-12T11:14:00.001-05:00

The Daily What

51 Ways to Tell if You're Possessed by Demons

2010-01-11T23:13:00.002-05:00

12. On that sheet of paper, draw what you think Satan looks like. Are you doing it? Good. If that picture is a pleasant figure such as a Care Bear or Teletubby then you could be possessed by demons. Add a mark.

Brilliant.

Ruthless clicking

2010-01-11T13:26:00.002-05:00

Subject line: The Chino, reinvented

Delete.

On fashion

2010-01-11T11:27:00.002-05:00

"Okay, dude, honesty hour. Do I look like a lumberjack today?"

winter vocab list

2010-01-07T23:36:00.002-05:00

hearth, blanketed, white russian, nor'easter, frosted, tucked, rosy, yuletide, yore, yearn, toasted, muff, merry

Trains don't stop your soul

2010-01-06T00:18:00.005-05:00

January starts off dreary. Johnny Flynn keeps me company.

Listen: Trains [Rose, Mary and Time] -...

On Apples To Apples

2010-01-02T01:04:00.001-05:00

"The most flirtatious? Choir boys, cause they're asking for it."

The end of his rope

2009-12-30T10:10:00.002-05:00

The white haired man in the coffee shop hung his head a little.

"I just don't think I can do it anymore."

The man sitting next to him seemed concerned and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"You can't give up."

"No, no. I'm too old anyway. What's the use? I keep telling Carla that it's not going to work."

"You need to stay positive."

"No, I'm tired of it. I keep trying to use it and it won't work right. I type and the damn thing just turns off. I just need to face facts, I'll never be able to use a computer."

"Never say never."

"I guess I'm back at square one." Sighs. "I hate square one."

Auburn Road, the reading material

2009-12-29T19:51:00.005-05:00

Three signs lined the property's snowy curb:

1. "Future home of The Haunted Castle"
2. "St. Vincent Scout Lodge"
3. "Christmas Trees"

On texting

2009-12-29T19:48:00.001-05:00

"Oh come on, T9 word. You don't recognize rhombus?"

-B

Nabokov, reworked

2009-12-28T19:17:00.003-05:00

ooh
marketing scheme, 1. allie, 0.

(via Samantha)

My new favorite (little) person

2009-12-28T18:24:00.002-05:00

cute, cute

On culinary arts

2009-12-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

"Not that I'm bragging or anything, but the last time I made this, I got mad bitches."

-M.Z.

Excerpt

2009-12-26T23:45:00.003-05:00

"I've always been good at making money," he said, "but I never learned how to save shit. I drink too much wine... I can be antisocial and temperamental and defensive. I am a man of routine, which means I'm boring. I have very little patience with idiots." He smiled and tried to leaven up the moment. "Also, I can't look at you without wanting to have sex with you."

"I can work with that," I said.

- From "Committed" by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Lynching of Lamby-Pie: A Christmas Story

2009-12-26T22:52:00.001-05:00

I had a white blanket trimmed in lace and a plush army of bunnies, kitties and bears – each with a name, gender and day of the week to sleep under my arm. (Apparently, I was the leader of my own polygamist stuffed animal sect.) My brother had a small quilt that he drug around Linus-style. My uncle had Lamby-Pie.

The small lamb was toted everywhere, according to my Grams, who, out of dutiful cleanliness, would lamb-nap when a proper bath was needed. One summer, after one such regular scrub, Lamby-Pie was left to air dry outside in the breeze. A simple shoestring hung from a small branch would do just fine, Grams thought.

As Lamby-Pie’s four-year-old companion came hunting, he took one look at the lamb – hung by his neck from a tree – and rushed screaming into the house. “You hung my Wamby-Pie!”

In transit

2009-12-22T19:03:00.004-05:00

The delayed train means invisible scenic route due to that pesky type of nighttime that comes with being in the middle of who-the-hell-knows-where.

Traveling at night requires much more self-entertainment focus. For example: Your book choice cannot just be that one you’ve been meaning to flip through, you know, the I-hope-this-is-impressive one you bought while out with your friend the philosophy student. It must be one you’ve been plotting your attack on for weeks. Nothing slows time like disinterest.

I can only mark our trip’s progress based on a few smatterings of light – mostly orange-hued street lamps and Christmas displays shining from yards and roofs and windows. I notice something: There is a varying gap in holiday light displays that can instantly speak to the income of the family behind them. The biggest homes, inset high on hills or protected by gated communities seem to hold a chic standard for Christmas lights: white only, with the occasional use of yellow or blue when appropriate. But my favorites, they twinkle out of the small yards that mark their boundaries with chain links. I am always thankful to the family who can somehow evoke the Vegas strip in a nativity scene, with recycled reindeer replacing lowing cattle.

And when reading or counting light displays in lieu sheep gets old, take advantage of your surroundings (i.e. eavesdrop). I'm always amused and amazed by the lack of shame people have in public. Truthfully, it delights me. So did she:

The voice from behind belonged to an ex-prostitute traveling home from the South. She spent her trip on the phone with a voiceless man who had, obviously, crossed the wrong lady. (Please note: There was nothing left to do but write down the highlights.)

- I need to know what I can do to keep your cock from running wild.

- I was a hot mess when I came to Atlanta. I was looking to get fucked - might as well get paid.

- That's the difference between a nasty trick and a trick. A trick would put a rubber on you. I would know. And she fucked you without a condom? Nasty trick.

- She a trick. She a trick. She a trick. Even worse, she a dumb trick. She ain't even getting no money.

- I should call you when I get home. I'm on a train full of people and I've been loud and cussing and carrying on.

- And her ribs be good as hell.

- You know when you, me, and Boo-Boo, when we went?

- I might piss you off. I ain't gonna never hurt you.

I love the holidays.

Blizzard, oh baby.

2009-12-20T12:08:00.002-05:00

Nothing brings out community duty like the first winter storm. Brooklyn was cloaked in snow and slush and an army of shovels dug in a line. More than one welcome mat was swept up on the curb, crumpled and frozen. Shop keepers enlisted those brave enough to march out for coffee or bagels to help lift their security gates from the snow drifts. A street worker helped a couple push their car and the little boy with all the curls threw snow balls at unsuspecting pedestrians.

Precipitation is good for the soul.

Christmas Time Is Here

2009-12-19T14:38:00.003-05:00

rejoice.

On rules to live by

2009-12-19T12:32:00.001-05:00

"Never wear lip gloss onstage. Your hair will stick to it when you head-bang."

-Taylor Swift

Last-Minute Holiday Guide: Gifts for Nerds

2009-12-18T13:58:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas from Techland

Movie Review: A context-free highlight

2009-12-18T13:56:00.001-05:00

"Paul does manage to wheedle one dinner date, but their evening ends,
as so many Manhattan nights do, with a dead body falling from a
terrace."

Excerpt

2009-12-17T00:14:00.003-05:00

"Legos used to be jumbled batches of bright bricks with the occasional wheel or axle. Now you can buy the Star Wars Venator-Class Republic Attack Cruiser kit, 1,170 pieces with instructions longer than The Brothers Karamazov. You build a cool spaceship, so long as you follow the directions – a useful skill, but no the same as constructing a cathedral out of nothing but cubes and confidence."

-Nancy Gibbs in "The Power of Play-Doh"

At my fingertips

2009-12-14T21:54:00.001-05:00

the grapes of wrath.

busy bee

2009-12-11T17:26:00.002-05:00

Avatar Roundtable Discussion: Oscar Buzz, Metaphors and Blue Boobs

Fringe's Misplaced Memory Science: Sci-Fi Fact vs Fiction

Tiger Woods Mistress Quiz: How Many Do You Know?

what a week.

Bravo, James Cameron

2009-12-10T23:07:00.004-05:00

Caught a screening of Avatar tonight.
It. Is. Stunning.
Go see it.

Blog post: A context-free highlight

2009-12-10T17:54:00.001-05:00

"Hot, nasty tortoise fucking, what a great day."

Oh um, thanks, B.

On zinging

2009-12-10T12:05:00.001-05:00

“Bring it on, William. I’m reasonably confident you’ll be adding revenge to the long list of things you’re no good at. Next to being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hairstyle that doesn’t make you look like a lesbian.”

- The amazing Jane Lynch on "Glee"

Excerpt

2009-12-08T20:42:00.003-05:00

"I don't think New York City is like other cities. It does not have character like Los Angeles or New Orleans. It is all characters – in fact, it is everything. It can destroy a man, but if his eyes are open it cannot bore him.

New York is an ugly city, a dirty city. Its climate is a scandal, its politics are used to frighten children, its traffic is madness, its competition is murderous. But there is one thing about it – once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough."

- "The Making of a New Yorker" by John Steinbeck

Sounds of a Brooklyn Christmas

2009-12-07T20:55:00.002-05:00

1. Christmas carols through my headphones

2. Barking dogs

3. Car alarms

Song of the day

2009-12-05T17:12:00.003-05:00

"Don't Worry About Tomorrow" by Van Morrison

My Choice VM:

1. Madame Joy

2. Into The Mystic

3. T.B. Sheets

4. Don't Worry About Tomorrow

5. Stepping Out Queen, Part Two

6. Slim Slow Slider

7. Wild Night

8. Joyous Sound

9. I'll Be Your Lover, Too

10. Contemplation Rose

Friday, a list

2009-12-05T00:17:00.005-05:00

1. A man on the train is hunched in the corner playing a hand-held video game. I should know the name, but don't. He wears that wilted look that children get while they watch TV. Every few minutes you can see a bit of muscle movement in his face which I interpret in the way I see fit. I can't tell if he wins after my view is obstructed by the pretty girl in the gold dress.

2. The cashier in the cafeteria is singing Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable' to herself. It's nice.

3. Sickness gives me the right to buy expensive juices guiltlessly. Sadly, this rule does not apply to bad hair days.

4. Russian woman with the largest diamond I've ever seen. I always imagined that I'd be slightly delighted and beguiled during an encounter with a small fortune perched on a finger, but I only felt disgusted and suspicious. Purse says PRADA. Looks real. Case closed.

5. Little girl dressed in varying shades of pink is wearing a Ring Pop which keeps getting stuck in her hair. A ring of this size is much more flattering on her, I decide.

Excerpt

2009-12-03T13:51:00.002-05:00

"When people start flipping out in the library, a special thing happens—patrons get interested; suddenly the porn on their screen isn't as interesting as the fight that may be taking place just a few feet away. They don't leave their Internet terminals to help out because they're afraid they'll lose their time (libraries learned this months ago during a rather sizable earthquake, when patrons were more concerned about getting their Internet time back when the library was being evacuated, than whether or not the light panel dangling above their head might fall on top of them), they simply turn their chairs and stare."

- McSweeney's "Dispatches from a Public Librarian" By Scott Douglas

(A favorite)

Vivian Girls

2009-12-02T21:01:00.005-05:00

play loudly for best effect

J-School: How To Learn Nothing

2009-12-02T17:49:00.003-05:00

Oh, what I wished I would have known when I needed to know it. A journalism education is acquired entirely outside of a classroom, yes. I should have majored in ANYTHING else, yes. A majority of universities with journalism programs are so out of touch with the working world it's hilarious? Yes.

Am I bitter? You betcha. I was duped. Slate, where were you when I needed you the most?

Highlights of Jack Shafer's 'Can J-School Be Saved?' below:
(PREACH!)

"I'm convinced that if all the programs in journalism—undergrad and graduate—disappeared tomorrow, America's newspapers, magazines, and broadcasters wouldn't miss a beat of the news cycle. Our culture produces news junkies, English majors, aspiring novelists, sports nuts, failed lawyers, and student journalists in such profusion that we'll never run out of the green material from which to build excellent reporters and editors.

In fact, a J-school degree means so little to me that I don't hold it against its holder.

Some wonderful people teach journalism, but let's acknowledge that most J-schools stock their faculties with aging journalists who bailed from the news business because they 1) got lazy or 2) wanted another gig after missing their paper's assistant-managing-editor track or 3) burned out and sought a place to relight or 4) fell in love with the academic life.

Non-journalists don't know that the greatest single impediment to becoming a reporter is overcoming the basic human aversion to getting in strangers' faces and asking nosey questions. With the exception of a few psychopaths, nobody in the business ever triumphs over this aversion.

All departments of journalism should divest themselves of advertising and public-relations tracks for the obvious reasons of cross-contamination. In general, PR people are journalists' enemies, except when they work for your publication, when they're enemies in specific.

Easterbrook remembers his one year at Medill as "one year of practice in writing simple declarative sentences."

I'd encourage J-school students to overload with courses outside their department, partly because those classes are more demanding, but mostly because it builds a journalist's character to skip classes and work on the school publication instead."

Excerpt

2009-12-01T22:52:00.003-05:00

"In a neighborhood of stay-at-home moms, Shaun's mother worked. A public-health nurse, she was the one you went to if you woke up with yellow eyes or jammed a piece of caramel corn too far into your ear."

- From David Sedaris' "Loggerheads" in this week's New Yorker

Immune system, why?

2009-12-01T20:32:00.003-05:00

seeks relief & peppermint tea.

comfort & joy

2009-11-30T22:38:00.005-05:00

Buried in my hard drive are more than 12 hours of holiday tunes that wait eagerly for this week each year only to dust themselves off in a pretty-damn-jolly frenzy and delight me once again. I am a Christmas music connoisseur. Of this I refuse to be ashamed.

Tonight's choice holiday beats:

1. Christmas Time is Here - Vince Guaraldi

2. The Christmas Song - The Ravonettes

3. Come On! Let's Boogie to the Elf Dance - Sufjan Stevens

4. Violets For Your Furs - Billie Holiday

5. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm - Frank Sinatra

(And yet, more listing of lists...)

Christmas wish list highlights:

1. Mermaid bottle opener

2. Tiny cactus

3. Dinosaur cookie cutters

4. Tandem bicycle

Comedy by 4-year-old Thomas

2009-11-29T14:15:00.002-05:00

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Light bulb"
"Light bulb who?"
"Light bulb in your mouth and it's a bomb"

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Cow"
"Cow who?"
"Cow in your mouth and it's poisoned"

On proper identification

2009-11-25T21:01:00.001-05:00

"Oh, I don't have my I.D. Would you like to see my crown?"

- Miss America to Hearst security.

How does New England give thanks?

2009-11-25T20:55:00.002-05:00

Oh, stay tuned.

My choice Thanksgiving traditions:

1. Being at the lake, smelling amazingly fresh air, staring out at the leaves from opposite shores.
2. Sugar cream pie. Why is it that no one here has heard of this? Savages.
3. Falling in love with Lucy Van Pelt each time I watch Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown.

On lunch

2009-11-24T14:08:00.001-05:00

"These croutons are amazing. I'm going to eat them like candy."

-K

Wit of the Internet, November edition

2009-11-24T11:53:00.003-05:00

excellent.